The First Reading - How I Started

It all started with a Tarot Journal. When I figure out how to monetize I will add links, but for now, I am a nobody and no one gets a free shout out because, as a former web designer, I know how this works. So, until then, just know I started with one I got online. If you are starting on this journey like I am, and love to write, like I do and want to keep a quick record of growth, then this might be the place to start. Find a journal that provides guidance.

Mine explained how this works and how to get started. So, I was shuffling cards and one jumped out of the deck, so I laid it to the side and started reading how to get started and fill the page for today. I read about the Significator Card, you can use it or not, but since this one jumped out of the deck I decided, why not? I then decided to work on the question for today. Now, it can't be yes or no and the question has to truly be something you want to work on, so I to reflect through all of the muddy thoughts and come up with just one question for today. Now, I am new at this so between the books, guides online and, my trusty Chat GPT, I decided to give this a go. I had done a reading last night, just playing around with the cards and the message slapped me, so, I took this seriously today. I remembered I have a gift passed down and if we are more than just our biology and physiology, then I have to get in the right head space. So, this is the original post.

I am new at this so I had to forgive myself in advance and hope I see the growth. I will share info from the book that was helpful (or confusing and hopefully helpful later on as I look back and read the messages). This is more for me than you, but I am glad that you found this post and, that you share with me what today's reading said. Take the message from it as you will, let it speak to your soul, my message is mine, not yours, but you can take whatever resonates from it.

Date: Friday, February 13th, 2026

Moon Phase: Waning Crescent - Illumination 14%

Deck Used: (1st Deck) Classic Tarot Black & Gold

Reading for: Myself Importance of Significator Card: This card does not answer a question, is describes ME right NOW. Since it jumped out before I even had any clue of what I was doing, this may mean:

• Urgent Energy

• Something already active in my field

• My subconscious speaking first

Significator Card: (Reading for Myself)

First Impressions: VII of Cups (jumped out when shuffling) Upright (7)

Foggy choices, some look scarrier than others. Can't see the person's face but at first I thought they must be scared, but then thought maybe they are happy to have choices. Needless to say, my brain was in a pessimistic state.

Research Info (Chat GPT): The Seven of Cups is the energy of:

• Overwhelm

• Too many options

• Emotional confusion

• Fantasy vs. reality

• Longing for something that feels better than what is

It often shows someone standing in front of multiple floating choices — some beautiful, some dangerous, some illusions.

As my significator, this says:

I am in a space of emotional fog.

I am trying to sort through what is real, what is possible, and what you wish were true.

According to this card, and because it jumped out, before my mind formed the question, my heart was already wrestling with options, outcomes, fears, and hope.

This card suggests: I may already know the answer deep down — but I'm struggling to separate:

• What I want

• What I fear

• What is actually happening

And, given my mental state as of this week, and everything that has happened, well, shit, no wonder this card jumped out. It was basically waiting to slap me since before I purchased this deck. Since the cards seemed to jump out at me last night too, I am going to use this deck for my personal readings since I am connected with it already. Thanks Deck! But, let's keep going.

The Deeper Layer (Emotionally)

Seven of Cups often appears when:

• We romanticize the past

• We fear losing control

• We’re unsure which path leads to peace

• We are emotionally overstimulated

It’s a very “head and heart spinning” card.

And gently… it can also ask:

Are you seeing clearly?

Or are you filling in blanks with imagination?

✨ As a Significator for You (Thanks Chat GPT!)

This says you are:

• Sensitive right now

• Processing multiple possibilities

• Trying to regain clarity

• Searching for something solid

It does not mean you’re wrong.

It means you need grounding.

The Seven of Cups doesn’t say “choose fast.”

It says:

Slow down.

Not every cup is meant for you.

Not every fear is real.

Not every dream is aligned.

🌿 What This Card Is Inviting You To Do

1. Get very clear on what is fact vs. assumption.

2. Reduce noise (internally and externally).

3. Choose based on values, not emotion spikes.

4. Stop trying to solve all outcomes at once.

REFLECTION: Since I’ve been navigating emotional heaviness lately… this card makes sense because it feels like I'm holding multiple emotional futures in your hands, and that’s exhausting. This coincides with the end of the Wood Snake Year and moving into the Fire Horse Energy.

And here’s the beautiful part: (According to research) The Seven of Cups is a temporary state. Clarity comes after we stop staring at every cup and choose the one that aligns with our peace. And, friends, realizing that gave me peace. I understood why the person on the card does not show their face. Because, today, it gave me peace... next time it may do something else. I hadn't even gotten to the Question and I was already energized and looking forward to the next card. So, with the realization that I needed "grounding", and reflecting on whether I wanted clarity or assistrance, my question for this reading was:

What do I still need to shed before the Lunar New Year?

If I was a card, at that moment, this was it. The 9 of Swords. I had no idea what this meant, but following along the book, I had to analyze and jot down first imporessions. I am sure as I get better at this and more attuned to the decks I will get different first impressions. For now, here is the rest of the journaling:

First Impressions: IX of Swords (Upright)

• Sadness

• Can't sleep

• Overwhelmed

• A lot of swords

• Grief

• Why continue?

Key Words: (I have the beginner's deck so these were listed)

• worry

• fear

• depression

• nightmares

• insomnia

• hopelessness

• trauma

• despair

Interpretation: (Thanks Chat!) Because this card also jumped out of the deck, the message was clear:

I need to shed Anxiety

Certainly, no ambiguity there!

🗡 What the Nine of Swords Really Is:

This is not external chaos.

This is internal torment.

• Late-night thoughts

• Replaying conversations

• Imagining worst-case outcomes

• Guilt

• “What if I ruined everything?”

• Fear of what’s coming

• Fear of losing what you love

This card is mental suffering — not physical reality.

Notice in the image:

The swords are on the wall.

They are not touching her.

The pain is real.

But it is happening in the mind.

🔥 With the Seven of Cups + Nine of Swords Together

This is pretty powerful to where I am right now.

Seven of Cups = mental/emotional overwhelm

Nine of Swords = anxiety spiral

It seems I am being asked to shed:

• Catastrophic thinking

• Hypervigilance

• Over-responsibility

• Self-blame

• Imagined futures that haven’t happened

Before the New Year begins, I am clearing:cFear narratives.

Given that I have struggled with this during the last couple of weeks, it was certainly right on!

🧠 In Psychological Terms (Thanks Chat!)

This is rumination.

This is cognitive distortion.

This is nervous system overactivation.

Your brain is trying to protect you by scanning for threat. But it’s exhausting you. And it’s not actually solving anything.

🌙 What You’re Shedding Before the New Year

Not love.

Not commitment.

Not hope.

You are shedding:

• The habit of staying in mental anguish

• The need to rehearse pain in advance

• The belief that if you think about it enough, you can control it

You can’t think your way into safety.

You regulate your way into safety.

🌿 The Invitation

The Nine of Swords is not a punishment card.

It is a “you’ve suffered enough” card.

It says:

The cycle ends when you stop feeding it. (Note: And this right here, slapped me into next week. I had to sit with this for a minute. )

Before Lunar New Year, the ritual may be:

• Writing down fears

• Burning them

• Releasing them

• Choosing sleep over spiraling

• Choosing fact over assumption

I am not sure how to she anxiety and how to stop feeding the cycle so it can end, but I am willing to put forth the effort to recognize and ground myself when it is happening. I have to accept that I can't just think my way into safety and I have to regulate my way into it. This week showed me the power of the mind over the physical well being. I had to force myself to stop all activities and focus on my mental health and I couldn't just stop at one card, so I closed my eyes and tried to think of a follow up question, something that can help me take on this divorce that needs to happen between the swords placed on the walls and what actually hurts me. I cannot be hurt by imaginary pain if I stop imagining it.

Follow-up Question: How do I start to lay down the mental swords?

First Impressions: The Chariot (Reversed)

Why the fuck is he upside down? Smug look, two guardians, Egyptians, stars

Key Words: (Reversed):

• self-discipline

• opposition

• lack of direction

• lack of control

• aggression

• arrogance

• carelessness

Interpretation:

🚗 The Chariot Reversed = Stop Trying to Control the Outcome

According to the Research,

Upright, The Chariot is:

• Willpower

• Control

• Forward motion

• Forcing things to move

Reversed, it says:

You are gripping the reins too tightly.

The more you try to control:

• The direction

• The timing

• The other person

• The emotional outcome

The more your nervous system stays activated. You don’t lay down the swords by thinking harder.

You lay them down by releasing control.

🔎 Looking at the Image

The charioteer normally directs two sphinxes — one black, one white — opposing forces.

Reversed suggests:

• Internal tug-of-war

• Emotional vs. logical self battling

• “I must fix this” energy

To lay down the swords: Stop driving the situation. Let it unfold without micromanaging it.

🧠 In Psychological Terms

My anxiety (Nine of Swords) is fueled by:

• Hyper-control

• Over-responsibility

• Attempting to stabilize something unstable

The Chariot reversed says:

You cannot calm my nervous system while trying to manage everything.

You calm it by surrendering what is not yours to steer.

And this friends, is what my therapists have been trying to say for decades. The Chariot reversed is not weakness like Iinitially thought. It seems more like strategic surrender.

🌿 What This Looks Like Practically for Me

To lay down mental swords:

1. Stop initiating every heavy conversation.

2. Stop rehearsing arguments in your head.

3. Stop trying to predict and prevent emotional outcomes.

4. Allow silence without filling it.

5. Allow him to carry his own emotional weight.

💔 The Subtle Layer

If this resonates with you, then let it. Sometimes we try to control because we’re afraid:

“If I don’t manage this, it will fall apart.”

But trying to control someone’s growth, healing, or clarity actually keeps you in anxiety.

Laying down the swords to me means:

"I release the illusion that I can drive this for both of us."

Reflection: My Sequence Is Clear:

Seven of Cups — stop spinning in possibilities.

Nine of Swords — release anxiety loops.

Chariot reversed — release control.

This is a full nervous system reset spread and I desperately need that.

About the card selection for the follow up question: Truthfully, I was confident another card would jump out, but the deck made me work for it. I was shuffling and shuffling, but I could not just pick one, so mercy was shown and one lifted itself from the pile after I thought "I am just too fragile to pick one. I will always wonder if I should have picked a different one"... and one slid upwards. See, there is a 7 of Cups and the foggy choices. I am just not ready for that today. I know I have to choice and stop overthinking, but today is day 1. It will take many more days. This card seemed to be precise. I wanted to close out the reading with one more card, since I felt truly better and connected so I simply asked for one card to set the intention for today and I will leave it here for you, so it speaks to you, like it did to me. Remember, first impressions, key words (I listed them) and then research the meanings and come up with your interpretation.

Key Words: 3 of Cups (Upright)

• Celebration

• friendship

• collaboration

• creativity

• community

• happiness

And, that is beautiful.

Stay Blessed friends and be well.

FYI: I selected the card by choosing a number and counted out for that card. My number was 23.